Teens establishing secure links with their parents, in all likelihood start properly new social relations outside the family, friends, colleagues and former relationships. Despite these new relationships, maintain the bond with their parents and they will be one of its main sources of emotional support.
According to experts are more frequent conflicts between us and young mothers between parents and adolescents. However, the mothers continue to be in their teens, as well as during childhood, an important source of emotional support more important than parents.
With the advent of adolescence, increasing tension and conflict in relationships 1os boys and girls with their mothers while decreasing the expression of affection and involvement in the relationship with them. On the other hand, fathers' relationships with girls usually do not become as tense as relations between mothers and children.
The origin of this behavior may be due to "the emotional bond between mothers and sons and daughters is often stronger than they have with parents, probably because mothers are traditionally spend more time upbringing and education of children. "
Throughout adolescence is changing the concept of authority and discipline of the parents, because children want to conquer a greater degree of autonomy to make their own decisions on issues that affect them. That requires renegotiating the autonomy of adolescents and reduce the control exercised by parents on some aspects of behavior of children, especially those issues that they consider theirs.
Although there is disagreement on matters related to everyday life (hours to get home, dress, friends, etc..), In most young families maintain harmonious relations with their parents.
The main sources of conflict between parents and teens are:
• Options and social customs (and even choice of friends, time to go home.)
• Responsibility (family tasks, consumption and use of money, etc).
• Studies (academic performance, study habits, etc.)..
• Family relationships (fights with siblings, relationships with grandparents, etc.)..
• Moral values (honesty, law enforcement, etc.)..
Ways for parents to set standards
• Parents explain to their children the establishment of standards and compliance will require taking into account the needs and possibilities of their children. Example: I explain the reasons why you should comply.
• Parents impose on their children meeting the standards and maintain a level of demands too high or inadequate to the needs of children. Example: I demand absolute respect for my authority.
• Parents do not make rules or limits to the conduct of their children and if they do not require compliance. Examples: I say yes to everything I asked.
Perceptions of adolescents
• Adolescents perceive their parents less caring and communicative of what parents perceive themselves.
• On the way to put the rules and enforce them, adolescents perceive their parents less inductive and more indulgent, less inductive and their mothers, more rigid and more forgiving, than the parents themselves recognize.
• Teens think parents meddle in matters which they regard as their private life and outside the authority of their parents, while parents still consider these issues in his case.
• The main conflict between mothers and adolescents arises from the implementation of the tasks of the house, and between parents and teenagers do their homework.
• When adolescents perceive differences between fathers and mothers in the socialization strategies have major conflicts with their mothers. However, this discrepancy does not affect conflict with their parents. This may be because mothers take more often to monitor the daily lives of adolescents than parents.
• From the point of view of parents as teenagers, parents who express affection to their children have fewer conflicts with them, and those who criticize and reject have more conflicts.
Positive effect of conflict
"The appearance of conflict would have a positive effect on the family system to help parents and children to share their views on different subjects related to daily living, resulting in a continuous adjustment in the expectations that parents and children of their relationship. The discrepancy and the gradual adjustment of expectations between parents and children during adolescence would be a necessary step in the transformation of relations between them. "
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